7 Reasons I’d Hire a Doula

I don’t know if there were any doulas around when I was having children – 28, 24, and 22 years ago. I do know, however, that I would have hired a labour doula if I could.

Why?

1. I read many parenting books, but I don’t think I read anything about birth options. I was like many of my generation, trusting that my doctors knew best. A doula could have rounded out my education. (Don’t get me wrong. I’m very thankful for medical professionals. My first son was born by Cesarean section. The umbilical cord had prolapsed and surgery was necessary. Thankfully, I was able to have two subsequent VBACs.)

2. A doula can help us wade through the vast amounts of conflicting information out there. Especially now, in the Cyber Age, we can feel completely overwhelmed and lost.

3. In no way does pinching her arm prepare a woman for birthing. That’s what partners were encouraged to do at prenatal classes in days gone by to help moms relax through the pain. Yeah, sure! Doulas can help explain the purpose of the contractions before the time comes and can help the labouring woman focus in the midst of it.

4. Doulas have an entire bag of tricks to help the labouring mom cope. What works at one point may not work at another. A doula is flexible and will try a variety of comfort measures as birth draws closer. Sometimes, Mom just needs a reassuring presence. At other times, she may need a very hands-on, physically demanding measure.

5. And who doesn’t like to be the centre of attention, at least when going through something so intense?

6. While labour doulas are primarily present for the benefit of the mom, their presence also benefits family members and friends who may be in attendance. As the doula does her job, she can free up loved ones just to offer encouragement and support in a way they’re comfortable with. Plus, the doula can reassure them that what the mom is going through is nothing to worry about – barring medical issues of course. Even then, the doula can offer encouragement.

7. I had a wonderful nurse who helped with breastfeeding, but if I hadn’t been in the hospital for six days with my first, I might have given up. A doula’s encouragement and knowledge would have been indispensable.

August 29 ROW Check-In

The last ROW80 post this month . . . can you believe it?

Time to gear up for “the new year.”

Relationships

~ enjoying just hanging out with my hubby and daughter

~ glad I’m awake to say good-bye to my son when he heads out; he works midnights.

~ plans to hang out with my daughter and some of our friends at a ladies’ pool party on Thursday

Doula-ing

~ one more meeting with my doula client before awaiting the call

Writing

I’ve bumped the rewrite deadline to Wednesday, but that’s okay. I will still be done before the end of the month. I got word this morning that my client likes all I’ve done to date. That’s always good to hear.

Editing

I could have taken on a huge proofreading job but thought it best to leave it to another team member. Sometimes we just have to acknowledge our limits.

Reading

I have the idea floating around that I want to get back to reading for pleasure. We’ll see how that goes. I have dozens of books calling my name – loudly.

Submitting

I look forward to writing the guest posts that have been requested. That should take care of my weekly submissions for September and then I’ll see what kind of schedule I can put together for Round 4.

Exercising

There’s still plenty of time to do resistance training three times and cardio five times this week.

Additional Fitness Goals

~ eat better (I just have to devote a half hour or so to plan out meals each week. Then I wouldn’t look for what’s quickest and easiest at the end of the day.)

~ weekly weigh-ins (I’ll let you know on Sunday how the Thursday weigh-in goes.) 

ROW-specific Goals

~ visit other ROWers’ sites weekly (I find I do better if I only commit to once a week. Then I don’t feel like I’m blowing it all the time.)

Are you planning to sign up for Round 4? I know I am.

Rainy Monday

Wrapped in gentleness

Soft grey skies bring forth raindrops

Bringing peace my way

Multi-Faceted Fitness

As you probably know, I’m a list maker. I love setting out my goals and crossing them off as I accomplish each one – or moving them to the next list; that’s okay too.

Fabulous fitness has many facets. (How’s that for alliteration?)

So, what can I do to be fit?

Physical Fitness

Exercise

According to some experts, being active for an hour a day goes a long way to keeping fit. If I would just spend half an hour five times per week on the treadmill and 45-60 minutes three to four times per week doing resistance training, I’d be well on the way.

Healthy Eating

For me, eating better would be as simple as eating more fruits and veggies and less processed food and snacks. That would be a great start.

Hydration

I drink water when I have it beside me. When I don’t, I can go for hours without drinking anything.

Sleep

I haven’t gotten into the habit of going to bed at the same time every night and getting up at the same time every morning. I know, however, this can have tremendous benefits: physical, emotional, and intellectual.

Emotional Fitness

The music I listen to, the TV shows and movies I watch, and the books I read can all effect my emotions. Hollywood knows they can manipulate our emotions with a stirring sound track and exceptional acting.

I like a wide variety of entertainment: from action/adventure to a sappy chick flick, from a powerful drama to a CG movie produced for kids. I also like many genres of books. The same is true regarding my musical tastes.

If I’m in a negative frame of mind, however, it will do me no good to listen to a sad song while watching or reading a tear-jerker. It isn’t a matter of denying my feelings, but intensifying those that bring me down isn’t going to do me – or anyone around me – any good.

As a Christian, I believe it’s important to read and listen to those things that will reinforce scriptural truth, even if my feelings don’t coincide with the input.

Spiritual Fitness

And as a Christian, there are some things I believe are essential to my spiritual fitness.

The Scriptures

In far too many ways, I have backtracked in this area. I used to wake up in the night and read lengthy passages of Scripture. (At that point, my hubby was getting up at 2:30 and delivering 250-300 newspapers before catching a nap and heading off to his regular job. I would often be awake for a portion of the time he was gone.)

Sadly, those times have been replaced by sleep and have not been rescheduled. I’ve allowed busyness and preoccupation with other things to fill my time. As much as I don’t like to admit it, there are days I don’t open God’s Word. I know the importance of not only reading it but studying it as well.

Prayer

Although I’ve said it countless times before, there is no better way to express myself than to say, “I’m all about relationships.”

My relationship with God is no different. In fact, it is the #1 relationship in my life.

How do I get to know another person? I don’t just read about them, though what I read may be 100 percent true. No, I have to spend time with that person, talking to him and listening to his response. While I find God’s portion of the conversation in the Bible, the other portion, talking to Him, is vital. Prayer attunes my spiritual ears to “hear” the truth of His Word. It reminds me that I am interacting with One who is alive, not just an historic or mythical being.

In the English Standard Version, Matthew 7:7 reads, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” God is my heavenly Father. Like a loving earthly father, He loves to provide my needs and many of my wants. And like a wise earthly father, He knows it’s sometimes best to say no to my requests.

Not only do I ask on behalf of myself; I also ask on behalf of others and rejoice to see Him work in their lives.

It isn’t all about asking. Sometimes, it’s simply rejoicing in His presence, thanking Him for what He has done, and praising Him for who He is.

Fellowship

Christians are referred to as a family. While the word implies that we spend time together, we are also referred to as a body. A body must work together if it ever wants to accomplish anything. We are directed to gather together in Hebrews 10:24-25 ESV. “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together . . .”

Some say they can believe without going to church. Others say the church is full of hypocrites. While there is an extend to which both are true statements, they can become excuses – especially in light of Hebrews 10:25. We don’t get it right all the time, but it’s important to work together so we can learn to do better. Recently, I had a rough year and a half but am glad to be back to fellowshipping with other believers and working side-by-side with them.

August 26 ROW Check-In

Seriously, I’m a writer. Why can’t I come up with a catchy intro? Oh, yeah! I’m writing this at 11:23 p.m., I’m tired, and the temperature and humidity are on the rise.

And the cliche of the day: That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Relationships

~ went for a walk with my hubby

~ went to our Growth Group picnic with my hubby and our daughter . . . and approximately 25 friends

~ spent a little time chatting with our eldest in person

~ spent a little time chatting with our second born online

Doula-ing

~ followed-up with my new client and met her folks on Friday

~ visited a doula client and her family; her two little munchkins are SO CUTE and I had the privilege of being there when they were both born about a year and a half apart

Writing

I’d hoped to finish the short story rewrite by the end of last week. It should be done by Monday night, just a little past my self-imposed deadline, still ahead of my promised deadline.

Editing

Nothing on the go right now and that’s okay. A breather’s alright every now and then.

Reading

I should have the young author’s manuscript read by the end of the week. I finished reading it ahead of schedule. Yay! I just have to assemble my notes. It is a great story with well-developed characters. I look forward to helping him make it the best it can be.

Submitting

If the lull continues, I might get some stuff ready to submit. I have three guest blogging opportunities in the queue. Maybe I’ll try to do at least one per week.

Exercising

~ not doing so great at this point; there’s a whole new week before me; I’ll do better

Additional Fitness Goals

~ eat better (This past week I blew it. As I said above, it’s a new week with new opportunities to do better.)

~ weekly weigh-ins (My friend is doing super awesome. I maintained my weight and body fat percentage: better than going up.)

ROW-specific Goals

~ visit other ROWers’ sites weekly (doin’ okay)

Words of Wisdom

When you can’t think of anything particularly wise to say and you have to get up early in the morning, it’s probably time to schedule your blog post and go to sleep. Goodnight, all!

Am I a Thief?

This summer, the morning messages at our church have focused on The Ten Commandments. Many of us have a pretty good idea what they are. Some of us can even recite them. But do we really understand the full ramifications of these  “ten words” given by God Himself?

As our pastor said, we can’t just say, “Oh, I don’t steal chocolate bars from the corner store, so I’m good. ‘You shall not steal.’ Check.”

I wish it were that easy, but no.

I can’t shake my finger at you and say, “I know you’re a thief,” but I can point to myself and say that yes, yes I am.

No, I don’t take chocolate bars from the corner store – or anything else, for that matter. In fact, when I was a teenager – many, many, many years ago – I was accused of stealing $60.00 from a young woman at the factory where I worked. Thankfully, my mom was able to vouch for me, saying I wouldn’t even take a cookie without asking.

So, how am I a thief?

Let’s see . . .

Do I always use our money as I should? Most definitely not. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a spender, not a saver. Often, over the years, I’ve thought to myself, “I’ll do better tomorrow – or next month or next year.” If only I’d taken the advice I gave my children when they wanted something new. “Wait until next time we come to the store. If you still want it then, enough to spend your own money on it, then you can get it.” New and shiny soon loses it’s appeal and then I want something else that’s newer and shinier.

And my time . . . do I always use it wisely? Pardon me while I laugh hysterically – or sigh and get depressed. This doesn’t mean I’m working 24/7. Work has its place, as does family, friends, and rest. I can’t say I’ve found the right balance. As a Christian, I’ve heard about tithing my money. In the same vein, I’ve often thought it would be a good idea to tithe my time. Although this isn’t a biblical directive, I believe my life would be much different if I devoted from 1.5 to 2.5 hours each day to prayer and studying God’s Word.

And even if I got the time thing right, how about my attention? I can spend hours in a certain location with certain people, but my thoughts can be elsewhere. Can I, therefore, really say I’ve devoted that time as I should have?

As the fall TV season approaches, I will have to be careful. During the summer, it’s easy to keep my TV viewing to a minimum. After all, almost everything is in reruns. Like everything else, the appeal of TV is the appeal of relationships. I begin to care about the characters and then I want to watch as their story unfolds. That and sometimes I just want to veg. (grin)

Now, before you think this is all about legalism and condemnation, I want to stop and say this: Condemnation is like a soaking wet, heavy wool blanket. It keeps us down and there doesn’t seem to be any way out. Conviction, on the other hand, may feel the same at first, but it’s the polar opposite. I believe God convicts us of sin in our lives and, at the same time, empowers us to change.

And why does He do this? It really is for our own good. If we live the life He instructs us to live, He will be glorified and we will benefit in countless ways, now and for all eternity.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe we can earn God’s favour and a place in heaven. Faith is a gift from God (Ephesians 2:8). Salvation comes by accepting Jesus Christ as our Saviour (John 3:16). And when we do so, His Holy Spirit will enable us to fulfill the good works He prepared for us long before we were even born (Ephesians 2:10).

If you would like to listen to the sermon “The Heart of Stealing” and others in the series, visit efbc.net

 

August 22 ROW Check-In

The week is shaping up well so far.

Relationships

~ splurged on pizza and all the add-ons as a going away for my daughter’s BFF who is off to college

~ some quality time with hubby

~ picnicked at my desk with my daughter

~ provided supper a couple of times for my midnight-working son (One of the reasons I love doing this is that he doesn’t expect it. It’s nice to surprise him every now and then.)

~ some plans in the works for the rest of the week

Doula-ing

~ meeting with my new client again on Friday

~ all things being equal, follow-up meeting with another client on Friday (I can’t wait!)

Writing

I hope to finish the short story rewrite by the end of the week. So far I’m on schedule.

Editing

I should finish the final read-through of my client’s chapbook today. Done plus she’s pleased with the results, always a good thing.

Reading

I should have the young author’s manuscript read by the end of the week. Also on schedule with this.

Submitting

~ off the radar for now

Exercising

~ worked out Monday night while watching Grimm

~ session with my personal trainer tonight

~ plans to workout once more this week plus get in two or three more cardio sessions

Additional Fitness Goals

~ eat better (portion control – check; wiser choices – so/so; just don’t count the pizza night)

~ weekly weigh-ins with friends

ROW-specific Goals

~ visit other ROWers’ sites weekly (doin’ okay)

Words of Wisdom

Seek to make sure your priorities are reflected in your actual agenda. The thing you spend the most time on is actually your #1 priority.

5 Doula Do’s and Don’ts

The following points refer to a labour/birth doula. There are also antenatal and postpartum doulas whose roles are different.

Also, this is an ideal scenario. For instance, just recently, I realized, while I seek to offer balanced information, even this is dependent on the materials I’ve read to date.

These are simply generalities. Feel free to interview a number of doulas to find the best match for you.

1. A doula educates you as to your birth options. She does not try to influence you to choose the option she thinks is best.

2. A doula researches your questions regarding pregnancy and childbirth that are beyond her knowledge base. She does not claim to have all the answers.

3. A doula makes herself available increasingly as the “birth day” approaches. She does not go on vacation the week before your EDD (estimated due date) . . . not without telling you well in advance and referring you to her back-up at least.

4. A doula offers encouragement and comfort measures. She does not expect you to worry about her feelings as you are labouring. (Tell your doula what is and what isn’t helping. That’s why she’s there.)

5. A doula will help you get established during the first week or two as a new family. Again, she will not try to influence you to do things her way.

If you have any questions or comments about the role of a labour doula, please feel free to share.

The Real Thing

The instruments are the same

The view may even be convincing

The sensation very real

The sense of accomplishment compelling

However

A flight simulator is far from the real thing.

I’m all about relationships

I love to know something I’ve said or done

Has brought a smile

Shone sunshine in a dark corner

However

Too often

I’ve done nothing more

Than hold the door to the simulator

Offering an illusion.

As a Christian

I’ve encountered the One

Who makes real flight possible

I much prefer the beauty and challenge

Of the real thing

The breathtaking view

The knowledge that

His abundant grace

Keeps me from plummeting to the ground.

The simulator might feel safe

But it isn’t real

I must be ready

To spread my wings and fly

Knowing He loves me enough

To sustain me

And should I fall

He will pick me up

Brush me off

And again

Direct me to the skies.

Because I know these things

I must be ready

To encourage others

To get to know

The Source of real flight

To join me

And soar.

The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.

Deuteronomy 33:27 NIV

A New Schedule

For the sake of accountability and as a heads-up as to what you can expect to see here in the days ahead, let’s give this a try.

Successful Sunday and Winning Wednesday

A Round of Words in 80 Days check-ins

Monday Musings

It all began with “Free to Soar.” So, Monday posts will include musings on flight.

Tuesday

Since there is no day of the week that begins with “d,” Tuesdays will be Doula Days. (I knew I could get the alliteration in there somehow.)

Being a labour doula is definitely one of the best. jobs. EVER!

Theology Thursday

What am I learning from God’s Word?

You can check out my older posts over at Casual Theology.

Fitness Friday

If you’re new to my blog (and if you are, WELCOME!), you may not know I’m a personal trainer. On Fridays I will share health and fitness tips.

These, too, used to be on a separate site, Tips for Fitness.

Surplus Saturday

~ catch-up day in case I don’t post daily during the previous week

~ monthly book reviews (older ones over at Book Revu)

So, there you have it: my new schedule. Kind of crazy, huh? Maybe I should have called it “Slumbering Saturday” instead.