6 Ways to Know It’s Time to Silence Your Horrible Housekeeper

This morning I spent about three hours doing – gasp! – housework. Don’t be too impressed. The persnickety types would never know it, but I do. Yay!

And how can a horrible housekeeper know she should let the bound and gagged inner maid out for a bit? Here are half a dozen tests:

1. There’s no more room in the laundry hamper for the dirty clothes. And let’s not even talk about towels and bedding.

2. You hand guests a shovel when they arrive so they can clear a path to the living room.

3. You pray no-one has to asks the facilities while visiting.

4. Your offspring says, amidst the flying dust, “It’s a good thing my asthma isn’t serious.” (True story.)

5. You think you might need to hire a therapist if you neglect your surroundings any longer.

6. The city worker is on your front porch – carrying a CONDEMNED sign.

I just may have to schedule time each week that I can devote to housecleaning. Sh, don’t tell, but there is a real sense of satisfaction knowing at least a tiny corner of your dwelling is in order.

Take that, Procrastination List!

Confessions of Motivation

The drywall that was in the front hall for two years or so is . . . (You might want to take a seat.) . . . It’s gone.

My hubby reinforced the ceiling on the second floor, cut the drywall into manageable sections, secured it to the ceiling, taped and mudded it, sanded it, and painted it with primer. (FYI, he kept the floor vacuumed as he went.) It looks a.ma.zing.

He also removed the six-foot tall gas heater that sat in the corner of the landing since we moved in twelve years ago. (We haven’t needed it since we got a furnace that heats the whole house. That happened shortly after we bought the house.)

And what does that all mean?

It means this Horrible Housekeeper has a suppressed desire to have things clean and tidy. Eek!

The next project . . . the back bedroom.

My job . . . empty it out. (Something tells me the living room is going to be in bad shape for a while. It’s right next to said bedroom.) I’ll donate or sell what we don’t want to keep and chuck what can be classified as garbage.

My hubby’s job (by far, the more challenging) . . . remove the makeshift closet walls; remove the wallpaper (oh, so much fun taking it off plaster); repair the wall torn open by the bookshelf when it collapsed; drywall the wall; repair any cracks in the other three walls and the ceiling; paint (though I could help with this); replace the carpet; reinstall the closet.

If we work together this could be done in a week or so. Mind you, that “week” will likely take until the end of the year at least.

Just a side note: It’s much less tiring – though much less satisfying – to remain a Horrible Housekeeper. Sigh!

7 Motivation-Stealers

I had such big plans for today, but my day off seems to be slipping through my fingers.

And my motivation? It’s slipping away with it.

Here are seven reasons why.

1. I got my days mixed up and headed out to meet a friend 24 hours early. Instead of heading home as soon as I found out about it, I decided to putter around the mall, looking for something special to wear for my 30th wedding anniversary next Tuesday. Yes, I found a really cute little black dress. Yay! But Poof! three hours gone that I could have been editing or cleaning house.

2. I am a morning person. If I feel I haven’t accomplished much by noon, I spend the rest of the day spinning my wheels.

3. Before I headed out, I didn’t grab any breakfast. I know perfectly well that even though I’m not diabetic, keeping my blood sugars regulated makes for a much happier camper.

4. Upon coming home, instead of looking at what needed to be done as an opportunity, I saw it as overwhelming. (Sh, don’t tell, but sometimes it’s not much fun being a horrible housekeeper with too much stuff.)

5. The over-scheduled day that thinned out significantly seemed like such a blessing – until I let the morning get away from me.

6. It seems my mental I-don’t-wanna list has grown to ridiculous proportions.

7. I want to focus, but I don’t want to miss anything either. Therefore, my email and FB accounts are open, calling to me every time someone posts something.

And so, what can I do about it?

1. I can be thankful for social media. There are some pretty funny goings-on over on my FB news feed. Laughter really is good medicine.

2. I plan to make a list of all those things I don’t want to do and at least do one or two of them. Kicking them in the butt is the best remedy. Plus, the more I accomplish, the more I’ll want to accomplish.

3. And speaking of lists, I’m going to write down everything I want to do today, prioritize the list, and try to work through it from the top to the bottom.

4. I just ate, so I won’t be tempted to grab lunch when I go out for coffee this afternoon.

5. I will choose to stop feeling sorry for myself. That voice in my head has no business being there.

6. I have made up my mind to forgo tonight’s monthly get-together. As much as I love spending time with these wonderful ladies, I think I best start digging out from under.

7. I will edit. I will exercise. I will do some long-neglected housework. I will be thankful. I will seek to be a blessing.

How about you? What steals your motivation? And what do you do about it?

6 Reasons to Love the Housefly

Last night they were buzzing around driving me crazy.

“We have got to do something about these flies,” I said to anyone within earshot.

And then I noticed the curtain in the pantry. There had to be a dozen and a half houseflies brazenly relaxing on the curtain.

That’s IT! You’re toast.

Swat! Swat! Squish!

(FYI . . . Killing houseflies on a sheer curtain is quite a challenge, next to impossible really.)

In the process, I learned the window behind said curtain desperately needed cleaning. As I did so, I then noticed the cobwebs and the dust. Sigh! As a Horrible Housekeeper, I’ve learned not to go ballistic over clutter. However, dirt? That’s a totally different story.

So, thanks to the housefly, one thing led to another and last night turned out to be very productive.

Here’s how:

1. I cleaned windows I haven’t cleaned in an embarrassing amount of time.

2. I washed both the pantry and the kitchen sheers.

3. We can once again see through our front door, which is over 50 percent glass. (The flies weren’t even hanging out there.)

4. I enjoyed time out with my hubby, grabbing a coffee – and sticky, non-toxic fly catchers. (I’ve yet to discover if this particular $12 investment was worth it.)

5. I realized I didn’t once resent the fact that no-one else had been simultaneously bitten by the cleaning bug. This may be a first for me. I can clean – and remain an agreeable person to live with. Score!

6. I’m actually looking forward to continuing the process – and no, I do not have a fever.

So, thank you, Mr. Housefly!

Gets People Talking

And yesterday’s prompt over at the Ultimate Blog Challenge was to write about the blog posts or status updates that received the most responses.

I definitely generate conversation over on Facebook when I refer to my horrible housekeeping tendencies.

Instead of getting all serious about why this all came to be–yes, there is more to it than just plain laziness (grin)–I thought I’d write a little poem about it.

If you want a glare

That blinds your eyes

And skating rinks for floors

If you want no smudge

Or fingerprints

On windows and on doors

If you want the books

All neatly shelved

And papers all pristine

If you want not

Dust nor wafting web

Hanging from the beam

If you want the dishes

Clean and dry

The laundry out of sight

If you want a house

That’s spic and span

Morning, noon, and night

If you want to

Ooh and aah some

And wonder how it’s done

Back away

From my front door

Turn away and run!

 

Lessons from the Big Comfy Couch

Do you remember “the ten-second tidy” from the children’s TV show The Big Comfy Couch?

You don’t? No problem.

Molly the clown would stuff all the toys and such she’d supposedly used during the day into the cushions of the oversized couch after asking, “Who made this big mess?” Of course, she’d done it.

With the help of the FX department, she made everything look neat and tidy in a mere ten seconds. I wonder where my FX department is.

No matter. We’ve learned to live with the stuff that’s lying all around.

And when I do get down to business, every blue moon or so, I want to do more than a ten-second tidy. And I certainly don’t want to shove things between the couch cushions and behind closed doors. I really do like things clean and organized. Once I get started, I like to keep at it.

So, here’s the dilemma. Do I do a cursory clean so things look more presentable — and thereby feel less weighed down — or do I set aside some serious time to do a more thorough job?

The horrible housekeeper in me says, “Neither!”

That other me, the one who knows I feel better when things are in order, says, “Compromise. Set a time limit and see what you can get done in the allotted time. And every now and then . . . yes, devote yourself to a more indepth cleaning of even of one room”

I’ll let you know which side of me wins, but I’m betting on the HH.

Confessions of an Enigma

big sigh of relief

last week i came to terms

that my house will never be

as clean and immaculate

as others

and then…

we made plans to have company

while they don’t care a smidge

about my domestic skills

(or lack thereof)

when someone comes over

i take the opportunity

to tidy up

at least a little

and that can be a good thing

however…

i could get used to this

seeing the top of the dining room table

having some place to put things

on the kitchen counter

not having to move things

out of the way

to turn on the TV

(stability balls interfere with the signal from the remote)

finding no hairballs in the corners

etc etc etc

but don’t worry

this is not the demise of yet another horrible housekeeper

just a blip in the radar

Confessions of the Temporary Tidy

We have the privilege of visiting with friends tomorrow before they head back to the mission field in Indonesia.

I so love that they’re taking the time to hang out with us for a while. I also know they don’t care in the least about this horrible housekeeper’s domestic habits.

However, I always take advantage of the opportunity when company’s coming to give myself a kick in the backside. (At least I think I can still do that, but I’ll save the experimentation until another time.)

It truly is ironic. Just this week I decided to settle into the this-is-how-we-live-and-it’s-okay mindset, and then we make plans to get together with our friends. Sigh!

For now, the table is clear. Amazing!

The dishes are almost caught up and much of the clutter on the counter has been cleared away. Put it all away? You’re too funny.

My daughter is going to put away the clean dishes, and my hubby ~ bless his heart ~ scoured our impossible-to-clean bathtub. (We really need a new one.)

I swept and Swiffered the kitchen, hall, and entryway.

If you’re not already sitting down, you probably should…

I even vacuumed the main floor and the stairs.

Sounds impressive, right? (Unless, of course, “clean freak” and “immaculate” describe your style.)

Well, there is a downside.

I get snippy when I’m cleaning.

The more I do, the more I realize there is to do.

I’ve been around the block enough times to know the current semi-clean, semi-tidy state of the main floor is a temporary occurrence…

Unless, of course, we have company on a regular basis.

Hm…

(I do enjoy it being clean and tidy. I just wish I could afford a housekeeper and a chef. Then, I’d be set.)

Confessions of Progress

Don’t tell my fellow horrible housekeepers, but I’m actually making progress around here.

I’ve begun to wash the dishes daily. (Don’t laugh. That’s a big deal for me. Oh…go ahead and laugh. After all, that’s the point of this post.)

I cleared a path through the spare room to the kitchen from the living room. Confused yet? Well, for quite a while we had to go through the dining room and down the hall because there were boxes and various other items blocking the more direct route. (Don’t let it impress you too much. I just moved the obstacles into the spare room, and the doors will still be closed when we have company.)

I’m attacking my Procrastination List. As I cross off some long-neglected items, I find myself accomplishing some of the other, unwritten goals: things like taking dirty dishes into the kitchen when I’m going that way and putting things on my shelves instead of on the table – well, sometimes.

I’ve prepared a schedule with actual times on it. It’s working fairly well.

Speaking of specific times…My daughter and I have been hanging out from 3:00 to 4:00 each afternoon. Although we live under the same roof, you’d be surprised how little time we actually spend together. So far, we’ve watched a couple of TV shows and played a game of Scrabble. Today, we might play a game she likes. (grin)

Last Saturday, I dropped Son #2 off at the airport. He has officially begun his post-college, adult life. Now that I’m not planning going away celebrations and helping him get things in order, I can’t use that as an excuse anymore. Well, there is the matter of packing up the stuff he’d like us to ship out to him, but I’ll poke away at that. After all, his room is now my hubby’s office, and Dave doesn’t mind clutter. (See why I married him?)

Have a wonderful day and try to cross at least one thing off your Procrastination List. I’m off to do the same.

Confessions of Paper

Make that reams and reams of paper.

I am organized when it comes to paperwork. I have an organized grouping of papers on my desk, another in the box on the coffee table, several in the boxes behind me, and then there’s the filing cabinet…

I even have two folders full of papers to be shredded. (And the shredder probably needs to be emptied, but that’s another story.)

A couple of nights ago, I looked around and realized it was time to buckle down and file similar papers together.

I can do it while watching TV or listening to music. I can do it while visiting with my family. I can even do it when my brain and body are working on half speed – or less.

So, why don’t I?

If I sit down on the couch and flip on the TV without having the papers at my fingertips, chances are I won’t get up at commercials to grab them. Some studies have shown watching TV is a sedative. From the number of whodunnits I’ve watched, but still don’t know who done it because I fell asleep, I’d say they’re right.

Tonight – or maybe this afternoon – I’m going to do something about all this paperwork. Who knows? My shredder might even get a snack later.

What tasks do you put off?