Instead of vacuuming, washing dishes, or doing laundry, you can take this quiz. (If you rush to do those things – or if you’ve already done them today – I can tell you now, you are NOT a horrible housekeeper.)
For each A, you score 3 points. For each B, 2 points. And for each C, 1 point. (You can keep track on that scrap of paper that is sure to be within arms length – if you really are an HH.)
1. How often do you vacuum? A. I don’t know where my vacuum is. B. At least once a month. C. When I’m having company.
2. How about dusting? A. I’m getting a jump start on my Halloween decorating. B. Who needs to dust? There are no flat surfaces visible anyway. C. When I’m having company.
3. When do you consider the dishes “done”? A. When there are no more left to put food on. B. When they’re in the kitchen. C. When they’re soaking in dishwater.
4. Describe your ironing habits. A. I don’t understand the question. B. I do it so rarely, my family is afraid of the ironing board. C. If I’m attending a wedding, I might iron my outfit. Okay, so if I’m in the wedding, I might iron my outfit.
5. Finish this old adage: A place for everything … A. … but I have no idea where that is. B. … and nothing in its place. C. … and that would be stuffed in the spare room.
6. Where do you keep your off-season clothes? A. The same place they’ve always been – the floor, the laundry basket, etc. B. Stuffed in a drawer. C. I shove them to the back of the closet.
7. What’s the first thing you do when you bring the groceries home? A. Debate whether it’s cold enough to leave them in the car. B. Collapse on the couch while someone else brings them in and puts them away. C. Take them to the kitchen and put away the perishables.
8. How do you organize your books? A. Remember what I said about no available flat surfaces? B. The ones I’m not currently reading are on the shelf. The ones I am reading could be anywhere. C. They’re on the shelves—in no particular order.
9. Thinking ahead, what is on your Spring Cleaning To Do list? A. Make a list. B. Hire a maid. C. Dust and vacuum.
10. At what point do you look around and let out a big sigh of relief? A. When quizzes like this are over. B. When you go back to thinking about anything except housework. C. When you find a chair to collapse into in your living room.
If you score 25-30, you get to join the ranks of Truly Horrible Housekeepers.
If you score 20-24, you earn the title of Horrible Housekeeper. Keep trying—or is that stop trying—and you can improve your score.
If you score from 10-19, there’s still hope.
If you score under 10, I graciously thank you for reading this post even though it is clearly not about you in the least.