I want security. I crave it.
Security, synonymous with safety, brings me peace, quiet, calm. Who doesn’t desire those things?
But what if living a safe, pain-free, invulnerable life is not what’s best for me? What if I’m actually a better person when I’m insecure?
When I’m insecure, I shadow Jesus. Closely. When He moves, I follow, because I know that where He walks is the right way.
When I’m secure, I run ahead of Him, sometimes taking the path to the right without realizing He’s veered left.
When I’m insecure, I am careful of others’ feelings. Before I tread over their emotions, I consider my words, my actions, my motivations.
When I’m secure, I don’t always remember to think before I speak because my heart has switched off its empathy mode.
When I’m insecure, I pray without ceasing, needing to hear His direction in every step of every day. I beg to be used by Him – in His way and in His time.
When I’m secure, I pray out of duty, when I remember I should, and go my own way. My prayers are me-centered, rather than God-centered. I ask, “What can You do for me” instead of “What can I do to serve You?”
When I’m insecure, I trust the Lord to draw my life map, understanding He sees things I can’t possibly imagine. His plan is perfect because He is perfect.
When I’m secure, I scribble out my own life plan, taking what limited knowledge I have and filling in the rest with sketchy, incomplete information.
When I’m insecure, I push myself to be stronger, faster, nicer, kinder, more loving. I strive to be a better wife, mother, daughter, friend.
When I’m secure, I coast, not worried about pushing toward growth and change because I don’t feel the drive to let the Lord work in me.
Now that I think about it, security may be the best place for me to live – as long as I find my security in Jesus.
What do you think?
Lori Freeland is addicted to her husband, her kids, and flavored coffee (three reasons why I like this lady). She coaches writing for the North Texas Christian Writers, edits for The Christian Pulse, blogs for Crosswalk.com, and writes articles for various inspirational publications. On the side, she explores her passion for young adult fiction and is busy at work on her first novel.
You can get in touch with Lori at lafreeland.com