My To Don’t List

I’m very list-dependent. Some days I think I should add “Breathe in; breathe out; breathe in; breathe out” just so I don’t forget. Today’s list is of a different kind. At first I intended to post it under Confessions… as you can see from the first two items. However, it turned into something quite different. Here’s my tongue-in-cheek  To Don’t list.

1. Don’t make the bed when I get up in the morning. I’m just going to crawl in again later.

2. Don’t hang up my clothes – at least not until there’s no more room in the laundry basket for the next load from the dryer.

3. Don’t start the day with breakfast. Who wants to be able to think clearly and actually lose that extra weight anyway? (Not eating can cause your body to go into starvation mode and cling to every calorie you ingest.)

4. Don’t go for a walk in the morning? Like I said, who wants to think clearly? Besides that, who really needs to improve their cardiovascular system?

5. Don’t worry about the countless hours in front of the computer screen. Not getting up every now and then and moving around can’t be that bad for me. I’m thinking my knees might disagree, but whadda they know?

6. Don’t drink an adequate amount of water. I wouldn’t want to have to use the washroom just down the hall too often.

7. Don’t do the most important things to do first. There will always be time to do them later. Who needs to sleep – and think clearly – and pay the bills?

8. Don’t worry that social networking time is infringing on family time. My crew doesn’t really need their wife and mother to pay attention to them.

9. Don’t plan ahead so I can prep healthy meals. Processed food isn’t that bad for us.

10. Don’t spend time pursuing those God-given dreams. I’m not really meant to soar.

And if anyone believes that, I have this prime farmland in Antarctica I’d like to sell to you…

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